[BNM] [OT] News - Terrorists arrested at Gatwick

[richard willis]

London : 1st September 2006 -

 A public school teacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he
 attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
 protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

 At a morning press conference, Home Secretary John Reid said he believes
 the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not
 identify the man, who has been charged by the Met Police with carrying
 weapons of maths instruction.

 "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Reid said, "They desire solutions by
 means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
 absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x` and `y` and refer
 to themselves as `unknowns,` but we have determined they belong to a
 common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every
 country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3
 sides to every triangle".

 When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Tony Blair, speaking
 from his holiday resort before the planes stopped flying, said: "If God
 had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have
 given us more fingers and toes."